#3 – What if Jesus Was Like Captain Kirk?

By scotthiga | Uncategorized | 0 comment | 5 January, 2011 | 0

What if Jesus was like Captain Kirk?

Jesus would have named Peter’s fishing boat the Enterprise.
The Sermon on the Mount would have been twice as long with all of the pregnant pauses.
Jesus would have told the Romans that they reminded him of the Romulans.
The Big Three of Peter, John and James would only have been the Big Two; sorry James, Scotty never got to go on away missions either.
The disciple in the red shirt would have died, every single time.
Instead of having Thomas stick his hand in his side, Jesus would have had Thomas use a medical tricorder.
When preparing to cook the fish on the beach after his resurrection, Jesus would have gathered some wood, clenched his fist and yelled, “Fire!”
At the wedding in Cana, Jesus would have turned water into Romulan Ale.
The feeding of the 5,000 would have been accomplished with the food replicator.
When the bleeding woman touched his cloak and he felt the power go out of him, Jesus would have shouted, “Mr. Scott! I need more power!!!”
When healing the high priest’s servant’s ear, Jesus would have made it pointed.
When cursing today, people would shout, “Jesus T. Christ!”
Instead of waiting for the four friends to dig up the roof, Jesus would have just had the paralytic beamed into the house.
When trying to get John’s attention, Jesus would have screamed, “JOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN!”
Jesus would have begun every teaching by saying, “Space, the final frontier.”