I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. When I was in school I was made fun of for being overweight. In the 6th grade all of the mocking and bullying compelled me to fake sickness in order to miss school. Even later, when I was more comfortable with myself, I still wished that the clothes I bought at Express looked like they did on the mannequin when I would wear them.
So eight years ago I did something about it.
Eight years ago I lost 37 lbs. in seven months. I went from 204 lbs. to 167 lbs. I hovered around that weight for a few years but eventually gained it back. In January of 2010 I again weighed 205 lbs. and lost 27 lbs. in seven months. I gained some of that weight back and weighed 194 lbs. four weeks ago. Now I’m focused again on losing weight and getting healthy. I hope that blogging about it from time to time will help me process what I’m feeling as well as offer another layer of accountability.
At this point I’m not trying to lose weight in order to pick up on women. I already have an amazing wife who loves me for who I am. Mostly I’m trying to lose weight because I want to be healthier. I do have an amazing wife and I want to spend as much time with her as possible. Eventually we’re going to have kids and I want to be able to spend as much time with them as possible. If I can lose weight and get healthier, I’ll be doing my part to make sure I’m around for a long time. God could have me get hit by a bus tomorrow, but that’s his prerogative. If he does have a bus hit me, though, I don’t want it to be because I was winded from crossing the street.
There’s also an element of my life with God connected to my weight loss.
When I first lost a lot of weight eight years ago, it was because I knew it was something that would always nag at me. No matter how well I was doing relationally or vocationally or in my life with God, I knew that being overweight would always be there following me – like a fat shadow. So in order to really feel satisfied with myself and who God wants me to be, I knew I needed to address my weight. I still feel that way but now I’ve got the added incentive of a wife, future children and my 30th birthday in six months.
I would love to reach my goal weight of 155 lbs. and stay there and healthy forever. I just hope that I can still be a nerd without being a fat nerd.
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