A month before its scheduled release, G.I. Joe: Retaliation has been postponed for nine months. After sinking millions of dollars into promoting its June 29 release, Paramount postponed G.I. Joe: Retaliation in order to post-convert it to 3D. I was really looking forward to G.I. Joe: Retaliation. The Rock looked amazing and I was pretty sure that Channing Tatum died early on. Now I’ll have to wait nine months to see Duke die and ninjas fight on the side of a mountain.
Postponing G.I. Joe: Retaliation seems like a pretty bad call. Here are some biblical bad calls.
Saying “No” to Moses
I really liked The Prince of Egypt and the relationship that it portrayed between Moses and Pharaoh. Maybe it was that relationship which made it difficult for Pharaoh to take Moses seriously when he stood before the throne. Looking back, though, it really was a bad call for Pharaoh to say “no” to Moses. Had I been Pharaoh I would have given up after all the water everywhere turned to blood. I almost passed out when I saw someone pull out an IV, I don’t think I could handle blood in my Evian bottle. It’d be like thick, warm, salty Kool-Aid.
Taking a Census
David was a man after God’s own heart. He knew what it meant to wholeheartedly pursue God only because he so often wholeheartedly ran away from God. David’s most famous sin is the adultery he committed with Bathsheba and the subsequent murder, cover-up and abuse of power. David also screwed up later in his life when he took a census. Instead of depending on God’s strength and power, David wanted to know how powerful he was on his own. Taking that census was definitely a bad call since it led to the death of 70,000 of David’s people.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that killing the Son of God wouldn’t end well. In The Avengers Tony Stark tells Loki that there’s no way things will end well for him. Someone really should have told Satan the same thing. I wonder if Satan threw himself a little party with piñatas and hummus when Jesus died. Only to have the party spoiled when Jesus showed up, broke down the door like Jack Nicholson and ascended with many captives. That makes me laugh. Of course killing the Son of God was a bad call because he’s the Son of God. The beautiful paradox is that Christ’s death was a bad call for all the powers of death and darkness but the best call for the rest of the universe.
These were literally bad calls of biblical proportions. I don’t think that postponing G.I. Joe: Retaliation is as bad as saying “no” to Moses or killing the Son of God. Though I’m still pretty bummed. I was actually looking forward to G.I. Joe: Retaliation but now I’ll just have to see The Avengers again.
What other biblical bad calls can you think of?