#579 – Boring Bible Stories

When I was younger Return of the Jedi was my favorite movie. I loved almost everything about the movie.

I love the fight on Tatooine.

I loved the fight on Endor.

I loved the fight in space.

I loved the fight between Darth Vader and Luke.

I guess I just really liked all the fighting and action in Jedi. As a seven-year-old boy, though, what’s not to like about lasers, lightsabers and lightning fingers? However, I didn’t like the long boring lull in the middle. I almost fell asleep every time after the battle at the Sarlacc pit and didn’t really wake up again until the speeder bikes on Endor. All of the talking with Yoda, Ben, Mon Mothma and General Madine was the worst; it was so boring.

The Bible tells an amazing story about God’s love for humanity. Like Return of the Jedi, though, it has some really boring parts. Below are some boring Bible stories.

Ezekiel

Ezekiel has some amazing parts. The 37^th chapter of Ezekiel contains one of the most powerful images of God breathing life into our dead souls. Three chapters later, though, things get more boring than Star Trek: The Motion Picture. In Ezekiel 40-42 the prophet has a vision of the restored Temple. In the vision Ezekiel walks around the Temple and all of its rooms, measuring them and recording the measurements. I’ve learned that any time the word “cubit” shows up a lot in the Bible, it’s going to be a pretty boring passage. God works a lot of miracles and interacts with people in tremendous ways. None of those ever happen when a ruler is involved.

1 Chronicles

1 Chronicles has a lot of great stories about David. In order to get to any of those exciting stories, though, the reader has to sit through nine chapters of names and genealogies. 1 Chronicles isn’t the only book with a bunch of names and genealogies. Genesis has a few. Numbers has a lot of names. Even the Gospel of Matthew begins with Jesus’s family tree. I firmly believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and has tremendous value for our lives. However, when I come to 1 Chronicles 1-9 in my reading plan, I might do a little skimming of God’s word. The great part about the Bible is that there’s always something new we can learn, even if we’ve read a story or a passage numerous times. No matter how many times I read 1 Chronicles 1-9, though, I only learn one thing: all the names are really boring. No one watches Return of the Jedi for the credits and no one reads the Bible for the names and genealogies.

Rebekah

I love the stories about the patriarchs. The lives of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob really show that God is more than willing to use and interact with normal, messed up people. The story of Abraham’s servant finding a wife for Isaac is so romantic and serendipitous it could be a movie on ABC Family starring Melissa Joan Hart. However, beneath all of the love and romance is an incredibly boring story. The story itself isn’t boring but it gets told twice, almost word for word. Genesis 24 tells the story of Abraham’s servant finding a wife for Isaac. Then, in the story the servant recounts what happened in the story. It’d be like watching Luke’s boring conversation with Obi-Wan and then immediately watching him recount that boring conversation, word for word, to Leia.

I love the Bible and have committed my life to studying it and teaching it. Even I have to admit that some parts drag on a little. It’s still important to read those boring parts because we never know what God might show us. I used to think Isaiah was really boring but now it’s one of my favorite books. The boring parts may stay boring but we won’t know unless we actually read them.

What are some Bible stories you find to be extremely boring?