I’ve often wondered when Harry Potter would get the remake treatment. Hollywood has a dearth of original ideas; it is more willing to put out something with a proven track record than take a risk on something new. I can’t blame them for that, though, as I am a huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is nothing but filmed versions of characters that were created decades ago.
Instead of rebooting Harry Potter with a darker and edgier tone, Warner Bros. has decided to go the spinoff route. Almost two years ago, Warner Bros. commissioned J.K. Rowling to begin working on a script for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the first film in a new planned trilogy set in the Harry Potter universe.
In the Harry Potter films, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a textbook used by Potter and his friends. It was a book written by Newt Scamander, the world’s leading Magizoologist. Scamander traveled the world cataloguing magical beasts and creatures and then shared his findings in a book. The new trilogy will focus on Scamander’s adventures seeking out those fantastic beasts and the exotic locales in which to find them.
Yesterday it was announced that Academy Award winner Eddie Redmayne would take on the role of Newt Scamander. I didn’t see The Theory of Everything, the movie for which Redmayne won an Oscar for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking. I did like him in Les Misérables and he is British, which seemingly makes him perfect for the Harry Potter universe.
In honor of Redmayne’s casting as the world’s foremost Magizoologist, here are some Bible characters that could have made amazing zoologists.
Noah
I know that this is the most obvious entry on this list but I couldn’t resist. Along with Adam, who named all of the animals, Noah and his family had the most contact with all of God’s creatures. Adam got to name them all, but Noah got to spend a year with them on a boat. I have a small apartment with a small dog; I can’t possibly imagine how cramped and smelly the ark must have been. Having a dog has made me pretty much love every other dog. Maybe having so many animals made Noah love them all; like the Grinch, Noah’s heart could have doubled in size for all of the animals on the ark. Except for the unicorn, though, because apparently Noah hated them.
Elisha
Elisha would have also made a great zoologist. Zoologists and animal trainers have to be comfortable around animals; they also have to be able to impose their will on the animals. My dog doesn’t follow any commands unless I command her to lick my face. But Elisha had some experience with getting animals to do what he wanted. When a group of kids disrespected him and made fun of him for being bald, he had bears maul the kids. These probably weren’t children, but young men who intentionally went out to mock Elisha for being a prophet of the one true God. They probably would have thought twice about it if they had known Elisha could talk to animals and was backed up by a group of bears, those godless killing machines.
Daniel
Elisha incited animals to animalistic behavior; Daniel went the opposite route. Instead of getting the lions going, Daniel did what he could to calm them down. When Daniel was thrown into the lions’ den, I’m sure Darius thought that Daniel would be ripped to shreds before he hit the ground. Instead he woke up the next morning and found Daniel hanging out with the lions, rubbing their tummies instead of filling them. The ability to calm down animals would be valuable for a zoologist; imagine how much data you could collect if you could tell a cheetah just to slow down and chill out. Also imagine how many animals you could give hugs to; that would be amazing. I would love to give a lion and a panda and every other furry animal a hug.
I was a little late to the party but I thoroughly enjoyed the Harry Potter books and movies. Hopefully Rowling can recapture the magic of her wizarding world and infuse some of it into Newt Scamander’s adventures.
Who else from the Bible would make a good zoologist?
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