Tonight I am leaving on a jet plane for Guatemala. I’ve got content scheduled to go up next week but for today I thought I’d share an older post. I’ll be flying to Guatemala on an airplane, which will probably be more efficient than any of these biblical modes of transportation.
My truck is having some problems. I love my truck but it’s needed some major repairs each of the past two years. Hopefully the repairs won’t be so major this time. I wouldn’t mind a smaller, more efficient car, but my truck is perfect for ministry. If I could trade in my truck for one of these biblical modes of transportation, though, I would do it in an instant.
Chariot of Fire
Elijah was one of Israel’s greatest prophets and he undoubtedly had the best exit. Had Elijah been a stand up comedian, he would have dropped the microphone and walked out to a standing ovation. Instead of exiting this life in a wooden box, Elijah left this life in a flaming chariot. Elijah has the rare distinction of avoiding death and taking a fiery, heavenly chariot to the sky. I would love to roll down the streets of Rancho Cucamonga (my absurdly named home) in Elijah’s flaming chariot. If the chariot required a flame-retardant suit it wouldn’t be terribly practical. If it didn’t, then I could pretend to be Peeta and Katniss every day of my life.
Balaam’s Donkey
I feel like I write a lot about Balaam. It’s one of the most hilarious stories in the Bible: a talking donkey asks his master, Balaam, what he did to earn a beating. I’ve never ridden a donkey but I can’t imagine it’s the most luxurious form of transportation. Not that I’m used to luxurious forms of transportation; I drive a 2002 Toyota Tundra. However, I have gotten used to luxuries like air conditioning, which is a far cry from the air the donkey would be passing. If the donkey could talk, though, I’d gladly trade in my Tundra. Not only would I always have someone to talk to on long journeys, but I could definitely make some money by dressing as Shrek and doing a little street performance.
Noah’s Ark
Unless I lived in Venice, Noah’s Ark would be a really impractical mode of transportation. The Ark, while great for rescuing all the animals (except for the unicorns!!!), wouldn’t really work for commuting back and forth to work. I also don’t know how to build furniture from Ikea, so I imagine building an Ark from scratch would be a little difficult. If I could somehow manage to build an Ark and put it on wheels, though, it would be the perfect vehicle for youth ministry. Students are a lot like wild animals, so why not have a vehicle where they can be separated and contained?
I really wanted to include the birds that rescue Gandalf, Frodo and Sam but I couldn’t find them anywhere in the Bible. I really hope there isn’t anything major wrong with my truck but, if there is, I could always try to find a donkey.
What mode of biblical transportation would you like to take for a test drive?
Leave a Comment