It's been a week since Clara was born. Obviously our lives have changed completely, but I've also been off work all week. So as I start to go back to work soon, I'm sure things will change even more.
I love Clara so much. She doesn't do much but eat, sleep and poop, but I love every minute she's doing those activities. Even when she pooped three times in the span of 30 minutes and got a new diaper each time, I was still so happy just to hold her and look at her little face. Here are some other quick observations about being a dad.
- I'm very tired. Clara has been sleeping pretty well, but no one was lying when they said Alycia and I would be tired. Writing has pretty much been the biggest casualty of my increased sleepiness, but I promise that The Christian Nerd will get back to its more regular schedule in a few weeks.
- I know that there's probably some animal instinct that makes me love Clara more because she looks like me. I would have loved her no matter what, but I can't deny I love seeing her little Asian eyes looking back into my Asian eyes.
- Alycia has been such a trooper. Clara was breeched so we knew for about three weeks that Alycia was going to have a c-section. The recovery is much longer but Alycia has been doing an amazing job. She's already an incredible mother and Clara is blessed to have a mom like Alycia.
- One of my favorite activities is singing to Clara in order to help her stay awake. I'll play songs off of my phone and sing them to her. She's gotten a lot of U2, David Bowie and David Crowder Band in her first week of life. One of the most special moments I had was singing "How He Loves" to her; I started crying thinking about how much I love her and how much more God loves her.
- My grandpa came to visit this week. I've written a lot about the influence he has been in my life and I teared up again when he prayed over Clara. I have been given a tremendous legacy of faith, something I pray every day that I will be able to pass on to Clara.
- I was changing Clara's diaper and she peed all over my arm. Normally that would upset me and freak me out; in that moment I smiled at another memory we had just created.
I love being a dad even more than I love being a nerd. Thankfully those two aren't mutually exclusive as I've already started watching Star Wars with Clara. She doesn't know what's going on with Star Wars or anything else. I pray, though, that she'll grow up knowing God's love for her and that she'll always see her home as a place of love and acceptance. I also hope that she'll always want to watch Star Wars with her dad, even when we're on Episode XVI.