We like to share with others when we’re doing well in our lives with Jesus. Perhaps we pepper a conversation with a passage of scripture that we read. Maybe we confess to a close friend that our lives are going so much better since we’ve been more consistent in our quiet times. However, when things aren’t going as well we tend to quiet down and withhold that information, hoping that conversations don’t turn towards spiritual matters.
For most of this year I have been happy for conversations to take on a spiritual flavor. That’s because for most of this year I had been extremely consistent in spending time with Jesus. I was waking up early almost every day during the week to spend time praying and reading the Bible. The dust that had once collected atop my devotional was nowhere to be found, and not just because our in-laws have a housekeeper. I had found a good rhythm with my spiritual disciplines and that consistency bore tremendous fruit in my life.
Since Clara’s birth, though, that rhythm, that consistency and that fruit have been tossed out like the hundreds of diapers she has gone through.
I wasn’t a huge fan of waking up at 5:30 to spend time with Jesus, but I did it because I knew the positive impact it made in my life. Now, though, a lot of mornings I find myself awake long before 5:30 because Clara doesn’t want to sleep anymore. So instead of quietly spending my mornings in spiritual disciplines, I’m doing everything I can to quiet a crying baby or catch a few extra minutes of sleep.
Most people would probably say that it’s ok for our spiritual disciplines to suffer a little bit when we go through a major life change. I agree somewhat, but I’m pushing three weeks without having opened my Bible or spent any time in prayer. If anything, having a daughter should have pushed me to be even more committed to my time with Jesus. Pretty much everything in Clara’s life is out of my control; I need to be constantly praying to God to care for her and watch over her.
I was more than willing to share that my devotional life was going well; who doesn’t like to share good news? It seemed a little disingenuous, though, not share when it was going as well. I don’t know if 400 words on my blog will hold me accountable or make me anymore likely to sit at the feet of Jesus, but I can hope. Like most everything of value in our lives, I’m just going to have to choose to do it. It’s not always easy, but it’s never that complicated.
What helps you restart spiritual disciplines?
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