The day after the Super Bowl can always be a little difficult for nerds. Sure we sat through the game but that was just to see the commercials for Cowboys and Aliens, Thor and Captain America. Beyond those three commercials, the Super Bowl could have been a little confusing. So, to make Monday morning at the water cooler a little less nerve-wracking, I’ve compiled a list. On this list you will find talking points about the Super Bowl with nerdy descriptions to help you better understand them.
Brett Keisel’s Beard
Brett Keisel is a defensive end for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He is a large scary man who may have thrown a nerd or two into a trash can when he was younger. Keisel is a Pro Bowl player but not one of the stars of the Pittsburgh defense. His beard, however, is a star in its own right. Understanding the beard isn’t that difficult but, if you need to connect it to something, reference the picture below.
The Half Time Show
Remember that scene in Revenge of the Sith where Anakin kills all the little Jedi. You know how it was a massacre, a tragedy and something you’d never want to see again? The half time show was a lot like that but worse.
The half time show was worse than Jake Lloyd’s acting in The Phantom Menace.
The half time show made Greedo shooting first seem like a good idea.
The half time show was more uncomfortable than watching Leia kiss Luke after you knew they were brother and sister.
The half time show could have replaced Fergie with Sy Snootles and nobody would have noticed.
The half time show, much like Jar Jar Binks, sounds better on mute.
The half time show made the Ewok song seem like a musical masterpiece.
Green Bay Wide Receiver Jordy Nelson
Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre
You may have been confused watching the Super Bowl because there was a lot of discussion about a player who wasn’t even there. Aaron Rodgers was the backup quarterback to Brett Favre and then the Packers chose Rodgers over Favre. This caused a lot of drama which has dominated the NFL for the past three seasons.
It’s a lot like what happened between Gandalf and Saruman, with Rodgers as Gandalf and Saruman as Favre. Saruman was the head of the wizards but then he got power hungry and started going crazy. Saruman tried to hold Gandalf down, but eventually Gandalf broke free from Saruman’s influence and stole Saruman’s title. And I’m sure somewhere in there Saruman sent some inappropriate picture messages to an intern.
That should give you enough fodder for a conversation around the water cooler. If the conversation begins to veer away from these topics, though, just say something like “Defense wins championships” or “Who wouldn’t place Rodgers as a top tier quarterback now?” And, if things get really off-track, just talk about the Volkswagon commercial with Darth Vader. Not only was it the nerdiest commercial, but it was also the best. Just don’t launch into a tirade about how a young Darth Vader really was a little boy without a mask. No one wants that level of nerdiness on a Monday morning.
Why do you watch the Super Bowl?