I grew up going to church and spent most every Sunday morning in Sunday school. There is a solid rotation of Bible stories for every Sunday school program. I cannot count the number of times I heard the story of Jonah or saw a flannelgraph presentation of the feeding of the 5,000. Stories with miracles or animals made the best Sunday school lessons.
A number of those lessons were often censored. Below are some of the censored stories and what was left out.
Noah’s Ark
The story of Noah’s ark is great for children. It has animals, a flood and someone choosing to do what is right even when no one else will. The story also works well with flannelgraph because of the various animals that can walk into the ark.
The Sunday school lesson always ends with the rainbow and leaves out Noah’s binge drinking. Children don’t need to hear that the first thing this good man did was plant a vineyard so he could party like he was on The Real World: Mt. Ararat.
Missing Flannelgraph Pieces
- Boxed wine
- Naked Noah
- Ham with a shocked face
- Unicorns (Noah forgot to get them on the ark)
David and Goliath
David and Goliath is the perennial Sunday school lesson. The story is about a young boy standing up for what was right in spite of giant opposition (I’m not Catholic but I need to go to confession for that pun). I always loved the story because it felt like a fairy tale with its action and giants; all that was missing were some magic beans and a golden goose.
The Sunday school lesson would end with David’s victory and the Israelites chasing off the Philistines. David cutting off Goliath’s head was always censored from the Sunday school version of the story. As a little boy I would have been way more excited had I known David cut off Goliath’s head and carried it back to Jerusalem. Perhaps my teachers were concerned that I would mix up my stories and think that David cut off Goliath’s head so he could turn the kraken to stone in order to marry Andromeda.
Missing Flannelgraph Pieces
- Goliath’s severed head
- Goliath’s headless body
- Blood-splattered David
- Medusa
Lot’s Wife
The story of Sodom and Gomorrah would be difficult to teach to a children’s Sunday school class. I’m pretty sure I remember hearing the part about Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt. It’s fantastical and also a good warning to children not to look back. Sunday school teachers love stories with practical, behavioral lessons. It’s great to teach children about courage through David and Goliath. But it’s better to scare children into telling the truth through Ananias and Sapphira. Telling the story of Lot’s wife shows children the importance of doing what God says…or else.
Unfortunately this valuable lesson is sandwiched in between a crowd shouting, “Bring them out so we may have sex with them,” and Lot’s daughters getting him drunk so they can have sex with him. The Sunday school teacher would have to use a lot of generalities about why Lot and his family were running and end the story immediately after the salt transformation.
“Teacher, what happened to Lot and his daughters after they got away?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. They lived happily ever after not doing anything.”
Missing Flannelgraph Pieces
- More boxed wine
- ::CENSORED::
- ::CENSORED::
- Newborn babies
I loved Sunday school lessons when I was growing up and they provided a firm biblical foundation that has influenced my life. I’m fine with having missed out on some of the finer points as a child. But now all those wrinkles I missed help me better understand God’s word and his interaction with people.
But I still don’t understand why Noah didn’t save the unicorns.
What Bible stories were censored for you growing up? What was cut out?
I learned in a bible study that when it says, “Ham uncovered Noah’s nakedness,” it was a translation of Hebrew meaning, “Ham slept with Noah’s wife (aka, his own mother)” and that’s why Noah got so pissed about it.