At our church’s Easter services, our pastor invited anyone who had questions about Christianity to join him for coffee on Monday afternoon. I joined him to observe and get everyone’s drinks while the questions were asked. Sitting in that environment, I marveled at my pastor’s ability to engage with people he hardly knew. He was compassionate, caring, sensitive and not the least bit nervous.
Had I been in my pastor’s position I would have wanted to run away.
My pastor is extroverted and enjoys being around others and meeting people he doesn’t know. Those are great qualities for a pastor because he is warm and approachable. Unfortunately, I’m also a pastor, but I don’t have those qualities in abundance.
I’m an introvert like a lot of nerds. I enjoy being by myself, I’m not energized by others and the prospect of meeting new people makes my palms sweat. People have a hard time believing that I’m so introverted because I thoroughly enjoy being in front of a large group of people. But once I’m off the stage and that distance is erased, I’m just a shy little wallflower looking at my feet to avoid eye contact.
It’s difficult being introverted in church.
I dread walking into a meeting with people I don’t know.
Ice breakers make me sweat.
Mingling on the patio is like walking a tightrope.
Greeting time in service may be my least favorite moment of the week.
It seems like church was made for extroverted people who enjoy handshakes, hugs and new faces. Extroverted people thrive in church settings and are able to fit in with any group they find. Sometimes I feel like I’m better suited to hang out with the desert fathers in a cave.
Even introverts need to gather with the body of Christ, though. Even though we’d rather sit quietly without making eye contact, we can’t participate in the church without interacting with at least some other people. As the church we’re called to be together but we need to remember that call is a lot more difficult for some than it is for others. And when doing church, we need to make sure that we’re not just catering to the extroverts who are easily seen and heard.
Even the wallflowers need a little light some times.
If you’re introverted, how do participate in the body of Christ? If you’re an extrovert, how can you help introverts participate more fully?
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