It took the better part of two years but Alycia and I finally got a dog. We had said that we didn’t want to have a dog while living in an apartment. However, once we saw that face, we knew we’d found our first dog. We named her Elphie and she has been a great pet so far.
Not all pets are as great, as Elphie. Below are some of the worst pets of nerdom.
I liked the original Battlestar Galactica but couldn’t stand Boxey or his robotic dog Muffit. Muffit was the worst. He was a robotic daggit that was created to replace Boxey’s dog that had died in the initial Cylon attack. Muffit made all sorts of weird gyroscopic noises while walking and he sounded like he was barking through a voice box. In Battlestar Galactica humans played God and created cybernetic life forms. While being pushed to the edge of extinction by the Cyclons was bad, the worst result of their playing God was definitely Muffit.
It makes sense that an android striving for humanity would keep a pet. I just don’t know why Data would choose a cat instead of a dog. Cats, in general, are all the worst parts of humanity. They’re cold, distant and indifferent. Dogs on the other hand are warm, loving and excited. Spot was like every other cat in that she didn’t really like most people and even attacked Commander Riker. Alycia grew up with cats and wasn’t sure that she wanted a dog. After 20 minutes with Elphie, though, she said that she was falling in love. Maybe Data would have been more successful in his journey toward humanity had he picked a dog instead of a cat.
When I was watching Alien last week I kept wondering why Ripley was so concerned with that stupid cat. I’m already very fond of Elphie, but if I had to choose between her or getting away from an alien, I would ditch her at warp speed. Ripley was more than willing to leave three of her crewmembers in the airlock, even if it meant one of them would die. When it comes to a stupid cat, though, she abandons all reason and devotes her precious time to finding Jonesy.
I didn’t think we would ever have a dog while living in an apartment. Elphie has changed our lives a little bit, though, and she’s pretty awesome. One of my good friends once said that pets are evidence of God’s goodness. Pets don’t really serve a purpose other than to bring a little happiness into our lives. God gives them to us to make us happy and that shows a little of his goodness.
I’m pretty sure Satan is responsible for robotic dogs and reason-reducing cats.
What are some other awful nerdy pets?